Money Monster

Don’t invest.
Lee Gates (George Clooney) is one of those loud financial TV show hosts you can find on cable on Friday nights and producer Patty Fenn (Julia Roberts) is his Holly Hunter. The story begins when an irate investor takes the entire crew hostage —while on air. It’s a classic thriller premise with the intrigue of the financial world as a bonus. Except that it’s zero parts Die Hard, zero parts The Big Short and all parts ridiculous.

During the course of the hostage situation, a massive Wall Street breach (that had never been discovered previously) is unearthed and proven over phone conversations between the producer/hostage and a VP at the financial institution in question. It would be hard to find a plot this stupid on TV.

At the end of the film, the American public somehow has an outpouring of common man sympathy to the gunman. This is the terrorist who they just learned about within that very same hour. I think it was supposed to be a statement about Wall Street versus humanity, but I just cheered because the overlong 98-minute movie was finally ending.

I don’t know why Clooney and Roberts signed up for this contrived script, except that the first half reads like a play. I blame the rest on the lackluster directing talents of Jodi Foster (Little Man Tate, Home for the Holidays, The Beaver).

Simply put: Don’t invest your time or money in this; it’s a bear.
 
Award potential: None.
 
The ten buck review: Not worth ten bucks.