The Master

A cult is forming around the new film by Paul Thomas Anderson (Boogie Nights, There Will Be Blood), and followers are already calling it an Oscar contender and one of the year’s best films. But I’m not a believer.

The Master stars a fiery Joaquin Phoenix as a troubled war veteran and a flawless Philip Seymour Hoffman as a charismatic leader of a movement clearly inspired by L. Ron Hubbard, the founder of Scientology. 

Sounds great, right? Unfortunately, this movie never fully explores the man behind Scientology, choosing to focus on themes of masculinity and the extremes of human behavior. Maybe. Or perhaps it was a piece about ego. Or maybe it was all just a bromance. I forget after all the dream sequences. 

The first half of the movie will pull most viewers in, but ultimately the story is too elusive and too ambiguous to satisfy.

Simply put: There Will Be Confusion.

Award potential: This film may ultimately be remembered for its two Oscar caliber performances. Bet on Joaquin Phoenix for his memorable character. Expect Philip Seymour Hoffman too.

Contender for Best Picture, Best Director, Best Screenwriting, Best Original Score and more, but I expect that full list will lose momentum by February.

The ten buck review: Perhaps in another life. Not worth ten bucks

The Bourne Legacy

The Bourne Legacy is the fourth installment in the action franchise and the first without Matt Damon. Jeremy Renner takes the lead as Aaron Cross, an operative caught up in life-or-death stakes connected to the events of the first three films. Renner and co-star Rachel Weisz serve up an entertaining espionage thriller that is a lot of fun.

The film’s only fault is that it’s not as stellar as the previous three Paul Greengrass films — yet it shares their name.

Simply put: Solid, entertaining action film in a summer that needed a good thriller. But hopefully this is not Bourne’s legacy

Award potential: None.

The ten buck review: Worth ten bucks

The Watch

Years from now, if DVDs still exist, you might walk past a dump bin of predictable comedies that provide a few laughs (plus the token over-the-top-tasteless bit.) You know, films that do just fine for hang time with the guys. The Watch will fall somewhere in the bottom of that bin. It’s a predictable, lazy comedy. But every so often, Jonah Hill delivers a few nice moments.

Simply put: The story is hard to watch, but Jonah Hill provides some laughs.

Award potential: 2012 Nomination for the Raspberry Award seems likely.

The ten buck review: Not worth ten bucks

Need more Olympics? 5 golden movies worth downloading:

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Ready for the Olympics? Here are some flicks that are not only some pretty solid films (sorry American Anthem) but also capture the Olympic spirit (sorry Munich).

GOLD

Chariots of Fire (1981)

Racing, in slo-mo, to the top of the list is the film that won four Oscars, including Best Picture. Worth another visit just to hear the somehow-timeless, electronic score by Vangelis. Extra points this year for being a British film.

SILVER

Miracle (2004)

Miracle gives me goose bumps every time. The story of the 1980 U.S. Olympic men's hockey team, of course, who took home gold medals after defeating the seemingly invincible Soviet Union team. And no, it doesn’t matter if you know how it ends. 

BRONZE

Blades of Glory (2007)

The comedic team of Will Ferrell and Jon “Napolean Dynomite” Heder are somehow not that much sillier than actual Olympic synchronized swimming or men’s gymnastics, but the duo find comic Gold in Olympic 

ice dancing.

Qualifiers

Without Limits (1998) Based on the life of Olympic hopeful Steve Prefontaine. Rent this over the Jared Leto version.

The Jesse Owens Story (1984) Biopic of the most profoundly successful athlete at the pre-WWII Summer Olympics of 1936.

Ted

Written by, directed by, and costarring the Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane as the voice of the title character, Ted is exactly the type of comedy you’d expect from him. Summarizing the movie is kind of like describing most 12-year-olds: mostly crass and sometimes quite charming.

The charming bro-ship between Mark Wahlberg’s John and talking CGI bear Ted is quite a feat. Oddly, you can feel the love whether they are in a fistfight or riffing off each other in a drug-fueled talkfest.

And thank you, Seth MacFarlane, for not making us endure a story about everyone discovering a talking teddy bear. Refreshingly, Ted has already been famous and, as an adult, he’s mirroring Gary Coleman’s career path.

The big screen allows MacFarlane to push the limits of raunch to his heart’s content. And yes, he #*@*#ing goes there.  However, as the movie runs out of steam, you realize that the small screen suits MacFarlane’s one-joke-after-another humor a bit better than a 106 minute-long film. But the hits were worth the misses and  #*#!, I laughed a lot.

Simply put:  Seth MacFarlane’s Ted is a refreshing, but raunchy comic treat. Definitely not for kids.

Award potential: Not a #*#ing one.

The ten buck review: Worth ten bucks

The Amazing Spider-Man

This is the story of Peter Parker (Andrew Garfield), a photographer who is bit by a mutant spider and….oh, wait, I guess you know all of that from the 2002 film Spider-Man. Yes, The Amazing Spider-Man revisits the origin story, again, just ten years later. And it takes 136 minutes to work through it all again.

I wish that The Amazing Spider-Man would have taken a cue from a franchise like James Bond, and introduced a new cast without putting the audience through another origin retelling.

On the plus side; The new director, (500) Days of Summer’s Marc Webb (no pun intended), weaves an solid rom-com story with Garfield and the amazing Emma Stone as Gwen Stacy. This is a slick Hollywood product, a professionally-made film and generally likeable. But in the age of The Dark Knight series and The Avengers, another slick Spidey origin movie was doomed to fall flat.

Simply put: The new cast is solid but I wish they would have skipped the origin and spun a new story.

Award potential: My spider sense says “no”.

The ten buck review: Not worth ten bucks

Rock of Ages

Tom Cruise’s latest impossible mission? Taking the hair band musical Rock of Ages from Broadway to the big screen. Does he rock it like a hurricane? Not really. Does he embarrass himself? Not really. Does it matter? Not really.

Taking the musical onscreen adds a reality that this karaoke fluffer can’t handle. There are a few fun moments, but this is crap for any ages.

Simply put: Tom Cruise hits the right notes. It hardly matters.

Award potential: None.

The ten buck review: Not worth ten bucks.