It’s a bird, it’s a
plane, it’s a turkey.
When Marvel’s
original The Avengers movie debuted,
Jon Favreau’s Iron Man, Kenneth
Branagh’s Thor and the WW2-era Captain America: The First Avenger were
already fan and critic favorites. In 2012, we just hoped that adding too many
heroes didn’t spoil the fun, which didn’t happen in that excellent superhero
film. (Avengers: Age of Ultron is
another story.)
DC has given us the
low-flying Man of Steel, the
unwatchable The Green Lantern, Razzie
winner Catwoman and as many good Batman films as bad ones.
We should have seen
this mess coming as far away as Krypton.
We didn't because Zack Snyder’s much
hyped Batman v Superman has one of DC
comic’s best storylines going for it: the rivalry and conflict between the
vigilante Dark Knight (Ben Afflek) and the do-gooding Man of Steel (Henry Cavill). When we do get to the fight between the duo, it's dynamic. Unfortunately there are two and a half hours of bloated action
scenes, a preposterous plot, pointless dream sequences, dark cinematography, an annoying Joker-take on Lex Luthor(Jesse Eisenberg), something big and tall to fight for the final act and countless
teasers for future DC films.
Even worse,
Snyder’s film insults us by making us watch Bruce Wayne’s parents get murdered again. How many times have we seen
that in our lifetime?
A film with these top
heroes should have either been a tight, single story clash-of-the-titans drama for the ages, or
a lighter, vibrant alternative to Marvel. This is neither. Is it too late to cancel all
the future DC hero films?
Simply put: Superfluous and super
disappointing. DC should stick to TV (Flash,
Green Arrow) and Legos (The Lego
Movie.) Not for kids. Not for adults.
Award potential: Zero.
The ten buck review: Not
worth ten bucks.
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